At the Real Marigold Hotel

Touching scenes in episode two yesterday (BBC One); a group of elderly luvvies plonked in Kerala, on the unlikely premise that they might one day retire there, were fretting about their health and wondering if they might still get laid.

Divorcee Sheila Ferguson, ex Three Degree and still a great voice, was the most randy, telling the first fellow she met at an expatriate cocktail party that she was looking for a new man. Instead of flirting back, the terrified chap muttered “plenty around”, and ran away.

Bill Oddie was grumbling about his bipolar disorder, so a local healer recommended some cream to rub on his pecker; a non sequitor I agree, but I guess a wank can’t do much harm. Ever the comedian, Oddie asked if the woman on the packet came too!

Back at the hotel he told the TV chef Rustie Lee about it. She was obviously interested and commented; “We women better keep our doors locked tonight!” Cue another flirt back. But “Sheila better watch out!” was all poor Rustie got for her troubles.

It’s lovely watching old people flirt, and their dis-inhibitions, albeit mugged for the camera or created in the editing room, should move things on. But love remains tricky. Although Rustie wants to help Bill rub his cream on, Bill wants Sheila to do it, and when Sheila hits on her own target, the poor man’s too intimidated to respond. It doesn’t get easier.

Jim Thornton